Miss Suicide

There are two sides to every story.
And mine is literately night and day.
By night;
I am a sadist, masochist, pessimist, and just about every other malicious -ist you could think of. My mind runs a million miles a minute and I can't slow it down. I lose touch with reality. My nightmares become delusions. My fears are suddenly surrounding me. I doubt myself. I blame every last mistake on myself. I break.

By day;
You'd never guess what was happening only hours before. I smile and laugh more than anyone every should. My confidence is small, but it's there. I am random and complicated. I dress in black but there's a colour to me. I rock hard and party till I drop. Nothing keeps me down for too long. My friends hold me together. I am whole.

But if you're unlucky enough to catch me at twilight; I am everything at once but nothing at all. I show you the scars and swear I'll never do it again, but we both know it's a lie. I smile through my pouring tears and tell you not to worry, but I need you more than ever. I want you to hold me, but I push you away. I give you promises that we know won't be kept. And I don't have control. I am twisted.

Last and least; I'm just a teenage girl that chose to grow up too fast.