Chris Beattie

Against my better judgement, I've decided to try and make my biography as pretentious as possible. I guess that if you declare yourself a writer, all you've really got to keep you going is your pretension. Hell, it's certainly not the money and it's certainly not the adoration.

I'm everything a writer shouldn't be. I'm mentally stable, I've had a pretty good life thus far (but let's not be complacent about that) and I don't actually read as much as I should do. But hey. I drink a lot, and that Hemingway bloke did alright out of being an alcoholic, didn't he?