Gathering_Stars

I'm pretty sure that vampires, Harry Potter, and Albert Einstein live in a parallel universe.

Actually I think that Albert Einstein somehow mis-haped himself into ours by some freak accident; although that would undermine my theory that nothing that man did was an accident.

I'm also pretty sure that given the chance, I would slip a roofie into Robert Downey Jr.'s drink.

In a previous life, I controlled the weather. And the rate at which my leg hair grew. Unfortunately, I lost both of these powers, a predicament I feel is tragic considering that I also believe that we should not have to spend money on razors. Or underwear.

Instruments I would give my right nostril to be able to play: Drums, guitar, bagpipes, harmonica, violin/fiddle, saxophone, electric washboard.

There should be a law against being the first person to ruin a lawn of freshly fallen snow.

If you are a boy reading this who has yet to read Stephanie Meyer's vampire series, stop what you're doing, get your heiny over to Hastings or knock on my door to purchase/borrow the series, read them, and enroll yourself in a class on manners. You don't have to be Edward Cullen to have impeccible manners, and that is way hotter than a six-pack.

Have you noticed that people with curly hair are almost without fail exactly twelve and a half times more interesting than people with straight hair?

Have you noticed that exactly ninety-seven percent of those people own hair straighteners?

I think I'm bulletproof. I've yet to actually have one cause me harm, and I've been around for a while.

In my previous life, I died from overconsumption of toothpaste and carbonated beverages.

Nerds can kill. Not the ones with pocket-protectors, the itty bitty num-nums with a tart tangy taste and Swedish accents.

People named Chuck tend to have perfection handed to them. Chuck Norris perfected martial arts, Chuck Taylor perfected shoes....the list goes on and on.

I think that frozen yogurt should not actually taste like yogurt, moreover, it should be a low-fat cousin of the ice cream variety. Pinkberry (the fro-yo place (fro-yo = frozen yogurt for cool kids)) was established under the delusion that frozen yogurt should taste like chilly yogurt; that is a falsehood of the most blasphemous flavour imaginable.

Dan Akroyd and Pauly Shore are gods.

I have been known to kill more than one yak from distances beyond two-hundred yards away using nothing more than mind-bullets.

My life's ambition has always been to grow a moustache comprable to that of Burt Reynolds without the aid of pharmecutical products. Although I have thusfar proven unsucessful in my venture, I can make shapes with my lips that have never before been seen or duplicated by the rest of mankind. And under the right circumstances, my eyebrows have been known to spontaneously dance the "Can-Can."

I'm pretty sure that I've meet the O.G. jitter-bug.

I think that because one of my teeth is in the shape of a shark's tooth, I should be able to talk to fish. I'm pretty good at eating them, but communication has yet to prove sucessful.

I'm a trained and licensed banana handler.