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I asked my shrink why my default setting is always, I'm a f*****g loser?
Because you haven't chosen to change it to a new setting, he said.
Hmm..
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My psychiatrist asked me to name some things I'm grateful for, but I couldn't answer him.
After I sat in silence for about 30 seconds, he said,
..
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Did God create the universe? Was it made from nothing? Or did a guy named Schna Schna Schnoozylover just happen to come upon it by the side of the roa..
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Woman/Women: Let's see if I can get a rise out of this guy.
(She does/they all do)
Woman/Women: Oh, I didn't mean that kind of rise, you filth..
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Bijou's mascara runs into her worry lines, making her look even more worried than she has before.She has beautiful almond-shaped eyes, very sort of pr..
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The Wrong Rev wore a Dacron shirt,and began the eulogy by kissing astatue of the Buddha.“Brothers and sisters,” he said.“The lonely,..
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My x-girl, with her hair, getting twenty hoursof unstoppable volume, and her face gettingthe deepest-feeling clean available just gother Ph.D. from Be..
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Failed poet said,“I stopped taking my meds because I didn’t like the way they made me feel. I walked around like a zombie, totally..
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"When you get born, your father and mother lose something out of themselves, and they are going to bust a hame trying to get it back, and you are it. ..
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IThey’re sitting together on the couch watching some epic tragedy about obsession and discovery on Lifetime when he suddenly gets that queasy fe..
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