Black Lioness

From the depths I write to heal from a sexual repression enforced upon me through childhood via good ol' religion. Now a single woman, free to be open to my sexual desires, I turn my writing focus to erotica. Where my fantasies and imagination are real.

I love sex and sexuality. It�s one of those things that can�t be denied about me because it was always there. I remember pleasuring myself since I can remember. My sister told me that I was spanked at the age of 5 for doing it. And it�s weird because there was always something bad associated with this natural desire. I remember talking on the phone with my sister a couple years ago and she asked me if I still masturbate. I wasn�t so sure why that had to be asked. Almost as if it was something embarrassing for her and she felt she had to ask to inquire if I was still addicted to a bad habit. It felt like it was some type of intervention. As instantly as I can recall that I can remember walking in on my dad in the living room as he was masturbating when I was 20 years old and how his reaction was full of shock and he tried to hurry up and change the channel and cover up. Later I saw the video case of the porn he was watching. I�m not sure if it�s worse to have a father who is a hypocrite for spanking me for doing the act and then catching him do the act or if it was just the fact that I caught my father jacking off. That�s definitely a boundary for me, seeing my parents in that way. I hated seeing my mom naked or my dad walking around in his briefs. But I have the healthy family fantasy of a child being raised in a home that does not despise nudity and is open about sexuality as opposed to hypocritical. It�s healthy when something natural is not put to shame by keeping it quiet or by reacting uncomfortably to it. This is what makes it so bad. Something such as sex and nudity shouldn�t be suppressed unless it�s unwanted by the other party. Bottling up emotions is never healthy so why should it be healthy to suppress our sexual desires? It�s foolish to undermine sexuality when it obviously is so epic in life. Suppression causes emotional damage and confusion and I know this first hand. This is my story.