Andy

A: How long is this train gonna be? I'm late for my appointment! Don't look at me like that lady, what you mean you're just a floor sweeper. F*****g Germans!

Q: Jeesh, they can say what they like about Hitler, at least the trains ran on time.

A: You again! Get the f**k out my head! Where do you think those trains were headed?

Q: No, you get out MY head! I don't care how many Jews were killed! You have no idea how they treated my grandfather in the war. It was horrible... He was passed for promotion time and time again.

A: What ever. I need a piss. Excuse me - waiter person, where are your toilet facilities? Down the stairs? Thanks.

Q: Hahaha! He said just go down the stairs! Do as he says, and we'll watch people slip on it.

A: Shut up...

Q: Listen, you'd be nowhere without me - nowhere! You think Sex-O-Bottle would be as successful without me? You think you'd be as satisfying in bottle form without me?! Don't make me laugh, kid.

A: We are the same age... If I'm a kid, you're a kid.

Q: F*****g Jew.

A: Stop it! People are staring!

Q: Two Jews walk into a bar... wankers.

A: That's not even funny.

Q: Neither is your mom.

A: We have the same mom!

Q: Shut up.

A: You shut up.

Q: Jew.

A: Stop!

Q: Why, the SS are long gone, man. They can't do s**t to you now! When Hitler went, so did the whole damn country. They could of kicked the whole world's a*s, but they didn't. F*****g p*****s.

A: The train's here, be quiet for a bit.

Q: Ooooh! That's a big train! Let's run through all the carriages and shout there's a bomb!

A: No. Don't even pretend, that's-

Q: Hey, they have free sandwhiches!

A: Put that back you idiot!

Q: Ut it astes oh good.

A: Let's sit down..

Q: Eeew! That woman infront of us has two seats! That's not fair! She's probably fleeing from Norway - I hear whale hunting's allowed there now.

A: Shut up - I'm sorry ma'am, I have split personality disorder...

Q: Sure we do!

A: That's it.

Q: Ow! Don't punch me!

A: Ah! My jaw!

Police man: Sir, you must stop now! Cease attacking yourself at - Gerald, they're in the aisles. He's running! Catch him!

Q: There's a bomb on the train, run! Run in terror before you -

A: Stop! No - ladies and gentle, stop screaming! There's -

Q: A bomb on the train.

Police Officer: Okay, suspect is believed armed and dangerous. I'm taking him out!

A: S**t! He's got a taser --

Q: Oh sh--

Police Officer: I'll increase the voltage! He isn't screaming enough!