a.ri.ga.tou I Love You

arigatou I Love You is a story about young man who wants to persue his dream as musician but he almost yielding because of his mother death.

A.Ri.Ga.Tou I Love You

 

‘Tom! Tom! How do you think? We can do this, can’t we?’ Mike stormed in Tom’s room and threw himself into the messy mattress and full of excitement spit out the question. While the owner of the room busily with his PC game.

‘We’ll take the offer, won’t we?’ again the new comer asked after being ignored for once but once again he got nothing. Tom’s attention goes into nothing but his game.

‘Tom!’ he yelled.

‘What offer?’ Tom asked back without looking at his freaking mad mate and his eyes widened as if its wants to jump out from its socket.

‘What offer??? Of course the contract! Don’t say if you forget about it.’

Tom did not reply, instead he exited from his game and turned it off.

'Didn't you know I'm still mourning?'

‘After three months?’

‘Look,’

‘No! You listen; your mother didn’t leave you and wanted to see you like this!’

‘Shut up!’

‘What? Your own dad kicked you out from the house and what are you doing? Playing game endlessly? I know your mum leaving you enough cash but then, when you have nothing left with you, what do you do? Crawling back and begging for your dad? You -’

‘Don’t bring my mum! Mike you shut up!’ Tom screamed.

‘- didn’t wanna continue your life? Why didn’t you go and suicide?! P***y!’ mocked Mike sarcastically.

The brown eyed boy next to him stared in disbelief, but actually  it is no surprise for Tom to be shock, however he just heard his own best friend suggest him to suicide, aren’t you surprise either?

Tom did not respond what Mike had said, he was still surprise that Mike could said those things although some part of his heart told what Mike said was true, sadly. He took deep breath, it still fresh in his mind the dreadful event that took three months ago, the day he asked his parents, his father mostly, to become musician and he was about to sign the contract with a company.

***

‘Don’t you dare to tell what he has to do!’ his mother shouted to his father that night. Their conversation turned into fight between his parents.

‘Don’t you dare? Don’t you dare you say? Dou you realize with who you’re talking about right now?’

‘You don’t need to remind me, ‘cause I’m pretty aware with it.’ Sneered Mrs. Carrick.

‘So it’s mean, you do perfectly aware that I’ll never ever let anyone ruined my son’s future!’ said Mr. Carrick strongly.

‘Pardon me? YOUR SON? After you realize what he might able to do something for you, now you claimed that he’s your son?! Thomas is MY SON!’

‘He’s Carrick!’

‘So what with the Carrick!’

Those shouting and yelling were all Tom could remember about that night, he always had his mother back while his father almost always oppose whatever he is doing. And that night also not an exception, he has no idea how the talk turn out become fight and his parent didn’t not seem care if he heard their quarrel although his mum asked him to go upstairs, to his room.

‘Whatever! He’s Carrick and will always be Carrick!’ concluded Mr.  Carrick.

‘You’re just his biological father! How dare you to claim Thomas is your son after you force me to abort him! You’re unbelievable person Paul,’

A ... abort? His own father once asked his mother to abort him? Thomas dumfounded upon hearing the revelation, he was never expected that, he acknowledge that his parent do not have happy married but the fact he just heard was just beyond of his imagination.

‘Let make this very clear for you, Thomas will do whatever he wants to do; in this case, he’ll be a musician. You have no right to oppose him; I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you never interfere my son’s life!’

That was the last words Tom heard from his mother. And not long after, he saw his mother’s cars left the house. It was already late and snow fell terribly and Tom was not sure what to do. It took half and hour for Tom to hastily running after his mother which gained hate staring from his father once he passed his father at the drawing room.

That was how terrible night ended. Thomas walked in his mother car accident, next thing he knew, he was already at the hospital with his mother’s blood stained here and there in his body before doctor said one dreadful word,

“Sorry,”

And Tom lost his mother forever. Not enough with the pain he already had. His dad blaming him endlessly even beat him badly right after his mother funeral which ended kicked the young man out of the house.

***

‘Tom, I know, I have no idea how does it feel with your lost or everything that you have been thorough in he past three months but just one thing, lets make sure, your mother last back on you didn’t die in vain, make your last mother dream come true, to let you do whatever you want to do,’

Tom still keep himself in silence but his mother’s words keep on ringing in his head.

“It’s your life; just do whatever you want,”

Tom sighed in defeat.

Yeah it is true; my life is mine, so I look at it through my eyes[1]

Tom did not sleep that night; he thinks his life all night along. Mike was right, his mum did back in him for her entire life, just to make sure he can do whatever he want to do, but why he abandon everything right now?

Tom mentally slapped himself for being cry baby, p***y or whatever the word that suits him right now.

The sun start shining for the morning comes brightly today; Tom reached out his cell-phone,

‘Alright, lets do this, but firstly, don’t mess my day today, I wanna sleep,’ Tom said without giving chance to the other line to respond. And just that, he hung up and pull the blanket over his body.

Mike’s eyes brightened, ‘Yay, that’s my mate!’ He exclaimed and clapped his hands, ‘I’ll make sure you didn’t regret the decision you made!’

***

~6 Months Later~

‘This is one special song I compose for special woman in my life. She was the one that always had faith in me, allowing me to do whatever I want and loved me unconditionally. This song I dedicated to my late mother for everything she gave to me, I Love you,’ Tom said before they played the last song in their showcase debut.

 

I Love You

 

I used to see you here

Smiling at me beautifully

Gazing at me lovingly

 

You always there for me

Reached out your hand for me

Holding me tight to lead my way

 

Thank you for the love you gave me

The blessing to have you in my life

Your love that never fade away

Thank you for the caring you gave to me

The wish for you for never leave

Your love that never fade away

 

I used to find you there

Embracing me wholeheartedly

Loving me endlessly

 

Now I’m missing you here

When the gentle smile filling up my mind

The light of love I wish to embrace till forever

 

You’re still here with me

Staying inside my painful heart

Holding the shadow to erase the sorrow

Until the day we’re back together

 

***

Mr. Carrick is all alone in his big mansion, boring to the death with his work and loneliness. It was months since he lives alone in his palace. Just recently he realizes all of his wealth never able to buy the happiness. But what he could do right now, he was never taught how to be happy. All his live has been dedicated for the company his father built with his bare hands. He is living like robot with certain thing every time. His late wife was another trouble for him, he did not know how to love or being loved, he was raised with business in his mind and he has no idea how the world out there turn around. That is why he was never want to have children, their marriage was just another business and of course children was not include in their deal, but his stubborn wife let it grow and showered the innocent life with her love. The love he is never understand, the love he thinks never exist, the love he thinks is another trouble to deal with because he is enough with his life.

And the innocent life he was trying to deny for so long, right now was sitting in front of him, not in real but he saw it on TV, the innocent life is right now singing with his very soothing voice he never ever imagine and never know before. The innocent life that he blames for brought the death to the only person that ever comes into his life. The innocent life that finally continues the path he thinks it’s useless.

The innocent life that said I Love You.

***

‘Mum, I come,’ Tom smiled as he lay while roses on the white marble stone, ‘how are you in the past few days? I’m very busy recently and I guess I’ll be busier in the future but I promise you, I’ll keep visiting you as often as possible. How to say, I hope you like my song, I compose it special for you Mum, if only you’re here and listen to it, I’ll sing it special for you, with my guitar you bought for me, do you remember it?’

With that Tom took out his acoustic guitar and starts to strum it, slowly he sang his special song. The song for his mother. The song for her faith. The song for her love. The song for her bless. For the only son, Thomas  Carrick.

‘Thank you for your faith Mum, I promise to keep my life on the right track as you always wish and thank you for everything, I love You Mum.’

Reluctantly, Tom left the graveyard, left the white marble stone with his CD on it. Yeah it was Tom and his band’s first album which featured one of his special song dedicated to his beloved late mother, entitled I Love You.

 

~The End~

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[1] Lee Jonghyun, CNBLUE Excite Interview  Blind Love