Pride (Seven Deadly Sins Series)

Pride (Seven Deadly Sins Series)

A Chapter by Ashira Macy
"

The deadliest sin.

"

Very few beings on this earth could boast

Of being blessed with more talents than most;

But I was so special, witty, and smart -

Features sculpted like Athenian art.

 

My smile could part oceans, start and end wars.

Like Helen of Troy, beauty to the core,

My tale is tragic like fair Narcissus

Brought to a close by those who were jealous.

 

As I gazed upon the stagnant water

My image causing balance to totter

Into my own immaculate embrace,

Submerged in my cool and reflective grace.

 

Downward I plunged to the steel gates of hell

Where naught but loathsome, ugly creatures dwell

All desirous of my pure radiance -

Damned me, doomed me, eternally sentenced

 

Neck always garnished with drab slabs of stone

Face buried within the cold soil alone

I wail and yearn for those days long since dead

When I was not forced to bow my vain head.



© 2014 Ashira Macy


Author's Note

Ashira Macy
At long last here is the final entry in my Seven Deadly Sins series: Pride in the form of a Ballad. Pride is supposed to be the worst sin, the one that all of the others sprout out of. Let me know what you think. Comments? Suggestions?

My Review

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Featured Review

pride.....as a sin.. for me is a ladder.. opening your doors towards the fall... a feeling that makes you believe you are superior than anyone around.. forgetting that without success even you were nothing.. in your words i found how people feel jealous of someone and i saw a reflection of our downfall in our own pride... the picture of hell showed what we are heading up to... people find it hard to respect others success but they find it even hard to accept the reasons behind their own failures.. seven deadly sins is a beautiful effort by you to show us the things that truly reflects the evil side of human life... thanks for sharing Ashira :)

Raj

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much Raj, I am glad you found connections with this series and enjoyed reading it. It w.. read more



Reviews

A prescient warning not to be foolishly vain. I thoroughly enjoyed this perfectly tuned poem. The rhythm, rhyme, and succinct message cut a powerful line into my own vanity. Well done!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you my friend, so glad this appealed to you.
As poetry lover, I enjoyed reading this piece, well done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thanks so much!
Are you still in earth thinking of what hell would be, or are you entering hell? It sounds to me as though you are entering; however, it began with here on earth...

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

It is Pride starting off on earth, and then when they die they are dragged down into hell and punish.. read more
The last two lines of stanza four feel off... just me.

The rest reads, flows and sounds well!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you for your honest review Chris.
Did you write this? (I am kidding. I am sure you did. But this is really good and seems to be based on the bible right?)

Wow. This flows really well and says so much! you have talent I see.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you! I always struggle when I try to find photos, I see them one way and can never find one th.. read more
Blogger

10 Years Ago

I will keep reading them. I am curious as to what you will do with gluttony...
Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you, I hope you like them. They were all so fun to write.
"I wail and yearn for those days long since dead
When I was not forced to bow my vain head."

Proud of you Macy.. "pride" was never so picture perfect before. well done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you Frozen, so glad you liked it.
the sin is well narrated, with clear images, well done, enjoyed the poem
sayed

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you Sayed, so glad you enjoyed it.
SAYED THANGAL

10 Years Ago

most welcome
I absolutely love how you brought tid-bits of Ancient Greece into this poem. It is perfect for pride. Love it. Thank you for sharing :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you Brit, it seemed fitting to me. =)
Oh wow. I love this piece so much. You are a fantastic writer. Keep it up!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much! The series was so much fun to write! =D
Love the imagery and how it evokes feelings. You have painted a scene and set the readers into their own song. one with skill and expertise of language.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashira Macy

10 Years Ago

Thanks Blake, I am glad it was engaging!

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38 Reviews
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Added on August 5, 2014
Last Updated on August 19, 2014
Tags: Seven Deadly Sins, pride, Dante's Inferno, sins, deadly, seven


Author

Ashira Macy
Ashira Macy

Martinez, CA



About
I am 24 years old and just getting back into writing after not using the skill for a few years, so I am a bit rusty. I am excited to share my new work as well as some old with this community and would.. more..

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